T-1 week. Eek! November 21, 2009

One week to go.   Really, I don’t have much to report as I’ve been spending so much time closed up in a practice room preparing for my recital!  I have had time on my practicing breaks to reflect on my life – past, present, and future, and am left with a hard to describe feeling.  Unsettled, perhaps?  Here’s what I’ve been thinking…

Past:

Not quite right.  We lived in a beautiful place, our good friends were fantastic people, and we had an easy life.  We both were “settled” in our professional lives, yet it never quite felt like home there.

Present:

I’m in a bit of a limbo at the moment.  I’m focused on getting through my MMus here and improving my mental health.  I know what I’m doing and where I’ll be for the next few months, but I don’t know what to plan on for after that…  I can’t build a life here, yet my plans for the future are dependent on Chri’s DMA auditions and we don’t find out about that until April or later.

Future:

Really, who knows what the future holds for me?  My present is unsettled, so how can I decide on a future?  I’m barely holding my head above water in my present, so how can I plan my future?  Sigh.  Can you tell that I like to have a plan?  I just have to be patient.  A few months from now I can begin to plan my future, at least for the short term of 3 years or so…

Anyhow, I’m looking forward to playing my first solo graduate recital.  I know that there are things that won’t go as well as I’d like, but there is nothing quite like the feeling of working hard towards a goal and then achieving it.  I’m proud that I’ve been able to make it to this point.  I am still struggling to overcome my mental health issues, but I WILL give a successful performance and I am excited about that.

Alright, time for a good nights sleep so that I can spend the day in a practice room tomorrow!

The next 16 days: November 11, 2009

To Do:

-      Practice

-      Practice

-      Practice

Quickie November 10, 2009

Heehee

A little post for the day!  Last week was my birthday, though I had a busy, busy day for my birthday.  It started with a doctors appointment (ugh), then practicing, then a lesson, then practicing, then teaching a lesson, then work.  No time to celebrate!  I did treat myself to a lovely latte & pumpkin scone though My favorite.  Saturday night a few lovely friends and I went out for dessert to celebrate, which was fun.

I am a practice machine!  My recital is soon…  I’m worried…  But it WILL be great.  I just have to keep practicing more than I want to!  Speaking of which…  I have an hour free so that’s what I’m going to do.

Eeeek August 21, 2009

I ordered the music for Ysaye’s Poeme Elegiaque ages ago, but it still hasn’t arrived. Hubby Chri kindly got it for me through an inter-library loan and it arrived today. I don’t know how I’m going to memorize it before my recital AND finish memorizing the Bach and learning the Stravinsky… I’m freaked out!! Must go practice!!! After a piece of toast.

Also, the fridge isn’t cooling well enough… We’ve tried one solution and have one other to try if that doesn’t work, so lets hope we can fix it ourselves and don’t have to buy a new fridge! Aargh!

Tired Today August 17, 2009

Today:

- First day back at work. Yay! It’s an awesome clothing store, and I LOVE the employee discount and the people I work with. It was only going to be a holiday job at first, but I ended up liking it so I stayed on.
- Not enough practicing. Only an hour today… Must do more tomorrow!
- Chri and the doggies picked me up from work
- Stupid sheetmusicplus.com. I was supposed to have my music for Ysaye’s Poeme Elegiaque by now but they haven’t even sent it yet. I ordered it sooo long ago and my recital is coming up soon. Eeek!!

Tomorrow:
- Early morning AND evening lessons to teach
- LOTS of practicing to do!!
- If its not too humid tomorrow evening, I’m going to go for a run after my lesson.

Good night!

My day and Banff :) August 13, 2009

Today I did two of the things I listed earlier of my summer plans. I practiced, and spent time with my doggies and my hubby. Time with my fam was nice! Played fetch in the yard with the pups, and later with the pups and my hubby too. Actually, we had most of the day together. No gardening today though, as practicing comes first (usually..) and there was a slight emergency with our water heater… It exploded and flooded the basement. All is now well in the house, and hopefully my shower tomorrow will be toasty!

I have been super motivated to practice this summer, for two main reasons. First, my depression kept me from practicing far too much this past school year. Don’t get me wrong, I tried. I REALLY tried. and tried and tried. I think I am the strangest “depressed” person ever. Throughout it all, I still have maintained my goals and have attempted to achieve them. Unfortunately, that didn’t help like the books say. I would pick up my fiddle, begin a scale, and the tears would come. A scale! Something easy, that I’ve been playing for years. Now don’t start thinking that I’m just stressed over my degree, as the tears came all the time. On the bus, falling asleep, eating breakfast, you name it. Well, that’s over (for now, hopefully for ever this time!), so I’m determined to make up for lost time.

Secondly, I went to Banff for a month this summer to study and have learned sooo much and I don’t want to lose that information by not practicing! I had incredibly inspiring lessons and masterclasses, but that’s not what taught me the most. I learned that I need to practice more. I know, I know, that seems obvious, though most of my teachers have said “if you’re practicing more than 3 hours a day, you’re not practicing correctly!” Turns out that’s not enough. While in Banff, I asked the other musicians how much they practiced. The ones around my level all said about 3 hours per day. The ones a little better said 4, and the phenomenal ones said 5. So, my goal for the year is to do between 4 and 5 hours of practicing each day. I will still be happy if I get 3 in on a super busy day, but I will aim for at least 4, maybe 5 on most days. I’ll let you know how it goes!

My Babble Debut August 12, 2009

Well, today is my first blog post. I have been itching to start one for ages, but I am finally ready for one. I’ll give a little background today, and later use this as an outlet for my thoughts and observations. I don’t know if I’m quite captivating enough to gather any readers…. But hopefully there will be people that will enjoy this other than myself!

So here it goes…

I’m a 26 year old redhead (natural!), living with my hubby of 4 years and our two big dogs. We took the leap last year and moved across the country to Southwestern Ontario to pursue our Masters degrees. Before that my hubby, Chri was a teacher and I was a musician. I taught A LOT of private lessons, and played violin in a small symphony. School has been awesome so far, though really challenging. Almost a year ago, I was diagnosed with depression. It has been extremely difficult to deal with my illness, manage school, and be a good partner in my marriage. Fortunately, I chose well and could not have a more supportive husband. I’ll talk more of my wonderful hubby and my annoying depression at a later date…

I’m nearing the end of my summer holidays, and here’s what I’m going to be doing:

-PRACTICING! I have a recital in early October to prepare for. I want to be amazing to show my professors and colleagues what I am capable of. I was supposed to do this recital at the end of last school year, but couldn’t because of my illness. I want to prove that I am not as weak as some may think, and that I’m a much better player than I appeared last school year.

-Gardening This is something that I love to do, but unlike BC, I can only enjoy it a few months of the year. I’ve already missed most of it because I was away for quite a bit of the summer. More on my trip later…

-Spend time with my hubby and doggies. That’s all I’ve been doing since I’ve been back, and I’m going to do a lot more of that in the next few weeks!

Well, there you have it. An intro to Jenny Babble. I’m excited to post again!