Good or Bad News? Good! May 28, 2010

I have too much to say today.  I have been so busy lately!  I thought that would end with the end of my Masters program, though that has clearly not been the case.  I have updates in many areas:  violin, house, plans for next year, etc., so I think I will stick to the violin/life updates and save the house for another day.

I am currently waiting at the Toronto airport for my connecting flight.  A day with an itinerary of 4 hours and 9 minutes of travel time has ended up being 7 hours so far, and counting.  It will likely end up being over 8 hours by the time its done!  Thanks, Air Canada…  Oh well, life goes on.  I am heading home from my Symphony audition, which overall, I am quite pleased with.  I didn’t win the job and I certainly didn’t play my best, but I am really happy with the experience.  It was a great set-up for an audition – there were a whole bunch of dressing rooms, so we each got a private warm-up room for the day.  That meant that I could keep busy  by listening to my ipod, planning, and warming up and not get too nervous.  Until, of course, my audition time came up…  It was my first one for a decent full-season orchestra, so I’m cutting myself some slack.  I got a little nervous and flustered, which led to my bow arm tightening and messing up a couple of entrances, plus I flubbed a few notes.  Not so good.  There is a lot of good news to come out of it though!

First of all, my first audition is over and I didn’t make a fool of myself!  I now know what to expect in my next auditions, and can prepare accordingly.  Second of all, I got a confidence boost.  I listened to the others warming up and practicing, and I have to say, I’m just as good as they are.  That makes me think that I will eventually land a job…  And to use a cliché, I have saved the best for last.  I get to move with my handsome hubby and hyper pups instead of doing the long-distance thing for the next few years.

Now that this audition is over, I can continue with my original plans for next year.  I’ll be doing a lot of DIY projects on a fixer-upper house next year; lots and lots of practicing, audition preparation and as many auditions as I can; and volunteer work.  I also plan on taking care of my hubby.  He has been so great to me through my mental health struggles, that I’m looking forward to finally being able to take care of him a bit.  He’ll be so incredibly busy (and stressed!) with his Doctorate program, so I plan on baking him yummy treats for a mid-day pick-me-up, taking care of most of the household chores, and surprising him with lunch and coffees at school every now and then.  After all, I can’t get a work visa or green card, so I will have plenty of time for that!

reckless abandon May 12, 2010

I am preparing for a couple of orchestra auditions, and have been working on an infamously difficult excerpt.  Don Juan.  It is not easy, but I am determined kick its ass.  I had a lesson today with my awesome teacher, and he told me I need to play it with “reckless abandon.”  I agree.  Wholeheartedly.  I think I could benefit from doing other things with reckless abandon…  within reason!  To me, reckless abandon seems kind of like following your heart without regard to how that will affect others.  It’s time I follow my own heart, though I have to admit, I will take care to not hurt or harm others in the process!  I think this is an important step in healing my depression, and I’m feeling better already.  I am looking forward to the journey.

Following my heart…  First, that means doing my best for my upcoming auditions.  Second, well, that remains to be seen.  I’ll keep you posted.

Busy Bee May 7, 2010

Today is a busy day.  Just one of the many-to-come from this busy month!  We are listing our house to sell, and have a gazillion little fix-ups to do.  I worked an early shift today until 11am, and now I’m about to get started.  A few items left to do are:

• paint front door
• stain front and side porches
• install and paint quarter round in guest room
• weed front garden
• plant flowers in window boxes
• sweep & dust basement
• clean windows
• clean carpet runner on stairs
• stage, stage, stage!

The other thing that is keeping me busy is that I’m preparing for a couple of orchestra auditions that are coming up.  I have lots of excerpts to learn and some serious brushing up to do on my concerto and unaccompanied Bach.  I’ve actually played most of the excerpts before, but as 2nd violin so I don’t know the 1st parts yet.

I’d better get practicing.  And painting.

Good, good, good news! October 14, 2009

I am finally ready to share my good news with you, and no mum, I’m not pregnant!  Hahaha!  Actually, I have had a run of good luck lately, but the biggest news is that I am now on faculty at the school I’m currently finishing my Masters degree at.  I officially signed the contract this morning, though it has been in the works for a couple of weeks.  I’m starting with just one student, but it will be a great test to see if university level teaching is an avenue I’d like to pursue.  Up to this point in my life, I’ve been heading toward a career as an orchestral musician while teaching younger students on the side because so far, that is what I love doing.  With this opportunity, I will have the chance to see if I will enjoy teaching at a higher level.  Anyhow, I am THRILLED at this opportunity and what it will mean for my resume!

I must admit, I was TERRIFIED to tell my own teacher about this.  She is a wonderful teacher and has been extremely supportive of me through my struggles with depression this past year, however, she is quite particular about the order of things in her studio (to say the least!).  I dreaded the moment of telling her from the time I was first asked to take this on.  Turns out that I shouldn’t have…  When I “broke the news” to her, she simply said “yeah, I know.”  Then she told me that she was the one that recommended me for the job.  All of a sudden my troubles in lessons disappeared.  I finally understood that no, she doesn’t think I suck, she just RARELY gives out compliments; well, in my mind this is the biggest compliment I could ever be given.  A year and a half of breaking down in lessons is OVER!  I’ve always understood that lessons are meant to help me improve, and that of course I have an immense amount to learn and many more skills to refine, but I now know that I’m not playing “catch-up” to where I should be.  I work hard, I am skilled, and I am dedicated to the continual improvement of my playing and musical understanding.  Aaaaah, what a good feeling!  I don’t think I have ever been this content before.  It’s lasted for a week so far, and I will do my best to ensure that it continues.