Wah Waaaah…
I had a “brilliant” idea a couple of weeks ago that had I had a month ago would have been awesome. I’ve been thinking of ways to fill my time this year since the major house projects are complete, and I decided that I should try to audit some courses at Chris’s school. I didn’t want to say anything until I found out if it was possible, and it turns out that it is possible… if I applied by the deadline of August 1st. I’m a little sad that my “brilliant” idea didn’t happen at the right time! Sad, but I’m sure I will come up with other ways to productively fill my time.
I had actually planned on auditioning here when Chris did, but to be honest, I had a teacher at the time I should have been preparing for auditions who squashed that idea (which really didn’t help with the awuful, awful depression I was dealing with at the time). She implied that: a. I wasn’t good enough to get in; b. I couldn’t afford the tuition; and c. even if I managed to get in and pay the tuition, I wouldn’t get a job from it afterwards. Boo-urns. I have learned a great deal from this, and hopefully I won’t make the same mistake again – even if I’m dealing with depression again.
Mistake = Not giving it a shot. I know that when I work towards something, I can do it. I realize that there are limitations (ie. I’m not going to be the next Heifetz or Milstein or Szeryng, etc), but after having the opportunity to play with other musicians here actually in the Masters and D.M.A. programs, I know I could have gotten in (unless my audition went horribly, horribly wrong 
). Plus, who knows – I may have even gotten a good scholarship package. I wouldn’t have been quite as lucky as Chris and gotten a full scholarship (I believe only two programs at the school are fully funded, and violin performance isn’t one of them), but I may have gotten a good offer. Plus, how could it have hurt my chances of getting a job afterwards more than not doing it??? In the haze of depression, her “advice” seemed sound… In the clear of hindsight though, what was I thinking taking that kind of advice!?!
Solution = Take advice with a “grain of salt.” Maybe she didn’t think I was good enough, but my next teacher did and I feel I learned a lot with him and was in a much healthier mindset. Who knows what would have happened, and for only the $100 application fee, I could have found out for sure. So in the future, I will keep my options open and go for it. I’m not sure if I will apply for more studies in the future, but if I ever get the hankering, I’ll go for it!
Sigh. Too bad for the Goal Fail, but I’ll come up with others. Any suggestions for how to keep busy this year or what other goals to attempt?
Take some tuba lessons… same technique as violin isn’t it?
heehee! Almost the same, as far as I know…. I have one other goal in the works, but it’s too early to say anything yet. Otherwise, I’m mulling around a few ideas but nothing seems super exciting to me yet. I’m sure I’ll figure out something, if the Tuba lessons don’t pan out.